Written by:
February 20, 2019
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A failed interaction with a dog

Last updated on October 15, 2021

Here is a short story that may be indicative of the strong empathy and other feelings autistic people experience, or perhaps of our affinity with animals[1]Autism and Animals: A Close Bond of Mutual Understanding | Celebrating Individual Abilities[2]Assessing Preferences for Animals in Children with Autism: A New Use for Video-Based Preference Assessment[3]Children’s representations of pets in their social networks (as also described in Temple Grandin’s book Animals in Translation).

I just went to the store, and on my way found a beautiful dog (not the oddity pictured above) chained to a pole in front of a cookie store. She was looking inside the store and whimpering, presumably for her owner, as she was standing outside in the cold.*

  • I will not exclude the possibility she was whimpering for cookies, though!

Empathy

On my way back home a few minutes later, the dog was still standing there. I felt bad for her, and wanted to pet her in an attempt to console her. But I was hesitant to try, as I don’t know what her response might be—or indeed the response of her owner. I felt uncomfortable trying to pet the dog while the owner might be watching from inside. So I didn’t touch her. But I did talk to her.

With a gentle voice, I said, “Hey, how’s it going?” I took a few steps into the alley towards home, looked back at her, and said, “Hey” again, with the same gentle voice. I had to suppress the urge to walk back to her and pet her anyway, regardless of whether there might be a risk of her biting. I continued walking home.


Guilt

And then the guilt struck. What the hell did I just say? Here is this beautiful creature, upset as she’s out in the cold—isolated from her owner who is having a good time inside the warm cookie store—and in an attempt to console her I say, “Hey, how’s it going?”?

Embrace Autism | A failed interaction with a dog | illustration MartinAwkward

What the DSM-5?*

This is an expletive.

Thank god she was not human, or I would feel quite ashamed of my clumsiness. Actually, I do feel both clumsy and ashamed, even though it was just a failed interaction with a dog. I hope whatever I said, the tone of my voice consoled her a little.

I couldn’t help but feel amused at myself for feeling guilty about a failed interaction with a dog, though. Perhaps I care too much on account of my autism? I am curious to hear opinions.


On the other hand, who else even made an attempt to console this dog?

References

This article
was written by:
martin-silvertant
Co-founder of Embrace Autism, and living up to my surname as a silver award-winning graphic designer. Besides running Embrace Autism and researching autism, I love typography and practice type design. I also fight dodecahedragons during sleep onset. I discovered I’m autistic when I was 19, and was diagnosed at 25. PS: I am trans, and Martin is my dead name. For articles under my current name, have a look at Eva Silvertant’s content.

Disclaimer

Although our content is generally well-researched
and substantiated, or based on personal experience,
note that it does not constitute medical advice.

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Land acknowledgement

Embrace Autism recognizes and acknowledges the traditional lands of the Indigenous peoples across Ontario. From the lands of the Anishinaabe to the Attawandaron and Haudenosaunee, these lands surrounding the Great Lakes are steeped in First Nations history. We are in solidarity with Indigenous brothers and sisters to honour and respect Mother Earth. We acknowledge and give gratitude for the wisdom of the Grandfathers and the four winds that carry the spirits of our ancestors that walked this land before us. Embrace Autism is located on the Treaty Lands and Territory of the Mississaugas of the Credit. We acknowledge and thank the Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation—the Treaty holders—for being stewards of this traditional territory.

A First Nations symbol, consisting of a Sun surrounded by four Eagle feathers.

Land acknowledgement

Embrace Autism recognizes and acknowledges the traditional lands of the Indigenous peoples across Ontario. From the lands of the Anishinaabe to the Attawandaron and Haudenosaunee, these lands surrounding the Great Lakes are steeped in First Nations history. We are in solidarity with Indigenous brothers and sisters to honour and respect Mother Earth. We acknowledge and give gratitude for the wisdom of the Grandfathers and the four winds that carry the spirits of our ancestors that walked this land before us. Embrace Autism is located on the Treaty Lands and Territory of the Mississaugas of the Credit. We acknowledge and thank the Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation—the Treaty holders—for being stewards of this traditional territory.

A First Nations symbol, consisting of a Sun surrounded by four Eagle feathers.
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